The Biggest Loser Review, 2009/01/27

Well, all in all, a fairly decent show, I think, - until the elimination at the end. :( At least I didn't have to psychoanalyze anyone this week.

First of all, I would like to ask the producers of the show what the hell is up with their math. At the end of week one, we were all told that at the end of 30 days, anybody who went home as part of the Great Couples Split-Up could come back to the ranch if their partner was still there. Right? THIRTY DAYS. Now, I'm rather sure that one week is seven days long, so at the end of Week 2, seven days would have passed since the partners were given the thirty-day story. At the end of Week 3, fourteen days would have passed. At the end of Week 4, twenty-one days would have passed. Last time I checked, twenty-one is less than thirty.

So, then, why the hell did the partners all show up at the Week 4 weigh-in? Anyone? Bueller? Bah. Stupid producers. Can't even count. What bull.

Anyway, moving on...

Hearty congratulations to Jillian's team (yes, I'm being totally sarcastic) for destroying the unity and goodwill in the house. As Kristin interviewed, all Jillian's team had to do was be HONEST about the fact that they planned to vote for Damien. There's nothing wrong with that! Instead they betrayed Bob's team's trust, pissed them off royally, and set us all up for yet another team-vs.-team season of bitterness, all for no apparent reason. Anybody see the look Filipe gave Tara after her success at the weigh-in? So much for building up goodwill with that here-take-my-phone-call-home favour. Nice job, morons. Sigh.

Did that glazed rosemary chicken not look FANTASTIC?!? OMG, I want some right now. That "nature's skewer" thing is genius. I'm disappointed that the 2lb pass Dan won for Dave ended up being totally useless, but I'm delighted that Dave did manage to get some time with a chef to acquire some food skills. He DESPERATELY needs them.

Good for Joelle for stepping it up (sometimes literally!) - her breathy "No excuses" kind of stuff still gets on my nerves, but I'm so glad she seems to have had her breakthrough. Way to go.

Good for the show for sending Blaine home this week. Really, there was no excuse not to. You should never have to miss the birth of your child, even when doing something as important as getting healthy. What an absolute sweetie that baby was! Just when I was starting to think maybe I could be okay with not having a third child, along comes a gorgeous newborn on my television screen. Again, sigh. Blaine and his wife have some seriously gorgeous children. I so love that they're the centre of his world.

Anyhoo, back to the ranch...

Dane and Tara didn't have a hope in hell of winning that challenge. That kind of thing absolutely SCREWS anybody who's ever displayed strength in the past, and gives the people who fly under the radar a serious chance to win. But Helen should still feel great about her triumph. And it turns out that she needed it - if she hadn't won immunity, she would have been below the yellow line with Ron and Mike, and between Pink and Brown in the elimination room, I don't think Pink would have had a hope in hell.

I am totally sick of Shannon's whiny phone voice. Who's with me?

And we are shown another glorious moment of Dannish achievement in the gym. Which would have been way more genuinely moving, might I say, WITHOUT THE SHMALTZY CRESCENDO OF BACKGROUND MUSIC, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Could this show drip any more with manufactured cheeze? As if the lame product placements were not enough? Sheesh.

And now we see the at-home contestants return nine days earlier than expected. I think everybody looked pretty much the same, except for Sione, who I thought looked visibly smaller (WTG), and possibly Aubrey. Can't wait to see the weigh-in of these guys at the beginning of next week!

Fantastic week for weight loss for almost everybody on the ranch. First of all, Mandi is totally looking way, WAY smaller, there's a definite difference there. I'm happy that Joelle had success and was so delighted in it - that's going to motivate her to keep going. Dan's weigh-in was bittersweet. Losing 60 pounds in four weeks is terrific, and getting below 400 is terrific, and losing 12 pounds in one week is also terrific...and yet! Still below the yellow line. Bummer.

And so, we go back to the house for the pleas from the teams on the chopping block. Ron opens up a huge freakin' can of vorklemptness, as is his wont. By contrast, Dave royally screws himself and Dan by telling everyone they can do it at home, sure, why not, whatever. Way to go, Dave, you ass. As if the fried chicken binges at home were not self-destructive enough. Tara's recrimination to him in the elimination room was PERFECT and made me love her even more. (She's a total game player, but she's got so much heart and drive, I can't bring myself to despise her.)

All in all, faced with the shittiest decision ever - even worse than the Jerry/Dan fiasco, probably - I think the house made the right choice overall. Ron still really, really needs to be at the ranch, and I think Mike does too. But Dan's seen the light and has the motivation.

Finally, it was great to see Dan having made such a huge difference. The sad thing is, even after dropping 101 pounds and over 22% of his bodyweight, he is STILL SUPER-OBESE. (BMI of 53.7 - anything 50 or more qualifies as super-obese, which is even WORSE than morbidly obese.) He has such a long way to go...but he's GETTING there, and that's the important thing. Go, Dan. Even Dave is making small changes. It might actually be okay for those two...or at least, for Dan.

The Biggest Loser Review, 2009/01/20

As much as Joelle is whiny, childish, dependent, lazy, and BS-ing, I totally feel like she's getting far more of a bum rap here than she deserves. Carla ganged up on her and bullied her throughout the time at home, and with very little justification, as far as I'm concerned. Who was the person with the smallest percentage of weight loss in week one? Carla. Who consumed over 2700 calories at the temptation this week while her partner did a really good job of resisting? Carla. Who accused her partner of not sweating enough when there wasn't a drop of the salty stuff marring her own damn shirt? Carla. I mean, yes, there's a lot of justification for portraying Joelle as a wash-up, but NONE for portraying Carla as a righteous martyr. And Bob did NOTHING to stop the dysfunctional crap, and even backed it up a little! They are seriously too much for him to handle, he had no control there. Carla was spouting meaningless jibberish which was completely ineffectual because you could actually SEE Joelle shutting down and retreating into herself, stopping all listening entirely. (Which was really sad, because a few times she really started doing some mature communication - not that "I have vision" crap, but the calm "You're mad at me" bit. Carla just WAS NOT LISTENING, she just wanted to yell and rant and yell some more, not solving a single damn thing. Geez, even if Joelle had shouted her undying commitment from the rooftops I don't think Carla would have let up.) I mean, shit, how do you expect someone to react when you're dumping all over her like that ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME? Sir yes sir? The whole thing just made me mad. The both of them each think they're the centre of the universe.

Other things that made me unhappy:

• Dave. Like, seriously, what the HELL is he doing? Does he take this seriously at all? While Dan is working his ass off at the ranch, totally devoted to saving his life, inspiring the crap out of everybody else in the house? That boy needs to find some self-control. His weigh-in in three weeks is going to be painful.
  
  
• Jillian's team's duplicity. I mean, okay, there are two very good reasons for them to have voted for Damien. Firstly, compassion/bigger picture: Damien has Nicole at home, who is completely fired up about this process and so he's going to manage to do well, whereas Joelle needs so badly to stay in the program - partly so that Carla won't murder her if she goes back, and partly because she has such a serious need for a breakthrough, and she sure as hell isn't going to get it at home with her beeyotch of a partner. Secondly, voting off the stronger member of the opposing team is just good sense, gameplay-wise. HOWEVER...for them to make Bob's team THINK they were going to vote unanimously against Joelle and then turn it around in the elimination room? Not. Cool. It's only going to foster bad feelings between the two teams (did you see Ron's face when Blaine revealed the black team's vote?), which is the kind of crap I think I can safely say the viewing audience for this show is really sick of seeing. Ten bucks says this was the brainchild of Blaine and Tara.
  
  
• Mandi needs to suck it up. There are five other contestants on the ranch who are away from their kids, too (some with little ones - Blaine's going to miss his fourth child's BIRTH, for heaven's sakes and you don't see him wiping away tears every five minutes), and she's the only one who seems to be letting it drag her down.
  
  
• But Mandi breaking her styrofoam bar in the challenge was really sad. She was doing so well, looked fresher than anybody else, I really thought she was going to wipe the floor with the rest of them; she just messed up her timing. That sucked.
  
  
• Carla's! Utter! Agony! Every! Time! She! Presses! Weight! Oh, Jesus have mercy! She's a walking stereotype.
  
  
• If I hear ONE MORE CONTESTANT in the interviews talking about how it's not just about them, it's about their partner at home? Well, duh!!! We get it.
  
  
• Blaine, can we cut it out with the "don't wanna lose to a girl" crap? It's still a piss-off, even if you're kidding.

But, things that made me happy:

• How about Damien's reaction when Nicole showed up on the screen? Loved it! He was so totally into her! Which was really good to see, because up until this point he seemed pretty emotionless about a lot of stuff.
  
  
• How about that Kristin and the challenge? I was absolutely elated to see how well she did!!! Total surprise. She blew away all expectations. I really wish Tara had just let her take it. I'm convinced Tara waterloaded last week, so she knew she was going to post a good number this week, and could have just let Kristin have the glory. However, I guess you always have to do your very best in these things, so I guess it did have to go the way it did. (Although hearing that Tara kept hydrated by throwing up in her own mouth was way more information than I needed to know. And can we please stop showing Tara throwing up on the screen? I'd like to ditch the association between models and vomiting, thanks.) I'm sorry Kristin was so down about it though, she should be ferociously proud of her accomplishment. I think Cathy is going to completely plotz at how hard Kristin rocked the challenge when she sees this episode.
  
  
• How about that cute expression of surprise on Dan's face when he saw that 406 on the scale? I loved it. He could go below 400 next week - I'm so looking forward to it.
  
  
• We finally got to see a freakin' interview with Mike! He has been totally underprofiled in the show so far, and it's seemed like he's really in the shadow of his dad (who seems like a great guy, just with a big personality). It was really nice to start to get a sense of him.
  
  
• Blaine's and Ron's meetings with Dr. H. Nice to see. And sending the message that obesity hits you in the WALLET - that's a message America might actually listen to, especially now. Well done.
  
  
• I was totally cheering for Mike and Helen during the last chance workout. Way to go, guys.

All in all, though, the Week 3 show can't even hope to touch the Week 2 show for heartwarmingness and just plain old good TV. Hopefully next week will be an improvement.

The Biggest Loser Review, 2009/01/13

Y'know, I've been thinking about it, and I think I know what Joelle's problem is: she's not a grown-up. The only way she does something is if there's a parental figure standing there making her do it - yelling, if necessary. I mean, seriously, the way Bob was freaking out on her reminded me completely of the place I'm in when I'm angry at my older daughter. (Not that I behave towards my kid like that, of course, but the fury and loss of control is the same kind of headspace.) She lives with her mom. She has such a non-career that twenty-five thousand dollars represents a few YEARS worth of salary to her. She is so completely childlike in so much of her behaviour, such as during the votes in week 1 when Carla said, "This is a test of our friendship" and Joelle agreed - Joelle was so meeky and "yes, mummy" at that point it was quite sad to see. And the whole talking-and-talking-and-talking-instead-of-DOING thing is exactly what kids do a lot of.

I don't know why she's still in a child role/headspace, but she is. If she's going to succeed in ANY kind of way on this show (or life in general), she has to snap out of that. And OMG, cut it out with the trying to be deep chatter! "Yes sir, you want perfection, I know that"; "If I can beat myself, I will win"; blah blah blah blah bleepin'-BLAH!

It's really quite sad. When you think about it from that angle, she's one of the contestants who most needs to be on the ranch; at least until she grows the bleep up.

But aside from the Joelle fiasco, there were sooo many wonderful moments in last night's show. First off, Dan and his running on the treadmill? I totally got chills there. Tara handing off her phone call to Filipe. Blaine's phone conversation with his wife. And Ron's passionate plea for Dan to stay - he's so the house dad, I love it. I got more vorklempt in five minutes watching this show than I did all last season. That is the way to play Biggest Loser, people! Love. It.

Some downsides, though...watching David at home broke my heart. He really has NO idea how to make it happen (hot dogs and fries? are you freakin' KIDDING me?!?), and even worse, he has zero support from his family. LESS than zero support, actually. They're all huge, they all eat crap. No wonder he's huge. He needs to get back on the ranch ASAP.

One thing I am wondering is whether Tara did a teensy bit of water loading since she knew she had immunity? Just a thought there. It'd certainly be good strategy, since it'd parlay into a huge loss next week.

CI Review, 2007/07/17

Tip for everyone: If you sing to the audience in the balcony, you aren't connecting with the voting audience on the other side of the television cameras.

A very ho-hum evening for the most part. Very few people came to win.

Dwight

He came to win but I've come to the conclusion that he just doesn't sing very well, which is a shame. So it was pretty intelligent that his profile highlighted his muscles and rough, tough occupation. It is with a big red face that I must admit I voted once purely for the fisherman hotness.

Khalila

I was looking for a bit more angst during the performance, but generally I thought it was a smart song choice and that she sang it well. It's just that I agree with Zack that I'm not sure 'nice' and 'mature' - which the performance certainly was - is going to electrify people enough to vote.

Carly Rae

The band was too loud. I could barely hear her voice. And there was an essential clash of SOMETHING - her style and what she tried to do with the song, perhaps? I'm not sure. All I know is that I just didn't like her as much as I usually do. Plus her skirt was too short - seems like she's imitating Haley Scarnato's "if you can't wow 'em with your performance, show off your legs" strategy. (Ick.) I'm with Zack, I didn't get it. Also, she needs to trim her bangs.

Brian

How many takes do you think they had to do before they got him actually catching that football? ;) Anyway...I thought he sounded great, but he missed getting the right emotional connection with the song. (Hint: "permagrin" is not the correct emotional connection, dude.) But to my surprise, I found myself voting for him three times. Oh, and by the way, EVERY Idol in the history of Idolness should pay attention to Zack's advice about moving around the stage with an actual purpose. Thank heavens someone finally said it!

Mila

Again, the band was too loud. The arrangement didn't showcase her voice enough. As always, singling out one audience member was totally lame-o. Her outfit was bad. And generally it was very karaoke.

Jaydee

Why am I not surprised that the senior demographic loves him? On the other hand, I bet the tween girl demographic also goes gaga for Jaydee. At any rate, this was the closest thing to a star that we've seen up to this point in the evening. As cheezy as the oldie vibe was, I was definitely entertained. I am also seriously disturbed about how good-looking I'm finding someone who's less than half my age. Yeesh. I voted for him ten times.

Greg

Vote for the Worst is going to have a FIELD DAY with Greg's manic wiggles tonight, but I thought the performance was really good. Someone finally showed up to really win. I agree with Jake that the intensity was great. I voted for him ten times.

Martha

One painful note aside, damn, I actually had to vote for the voice three times. I also have to admit that her style/intensity is improving.

Tara

She really doesn't do a damn thing for me and frequently her voice goes right off. Ouch. I have no idea why she's still here.

Matt

He started out great and very groovy. This could have been a pretty spectacular performance, actually, but it felt like he kept getting distracted from his focus here and there. Also, it wasn't strong vocally at every moment. But it was a very smart choice and I was certainly entertained. I voted for him eight times.

CI Review, 2007/07/10

I think Zack was on crack when he said all the girls were 'in tough tonight'. Did he watch the same show I did? By and large - and especially compared to the guys - it was a very ho-hum evening. What I'd like to do is keep all the guys, or maybe just ditch Brian, and keep only three or four of the girls, because there are not many of them that belong in the top ten, I tell ya. Sheesh.

Annika

Ouch. Oh, my poor ears. Okay, yes, that performance may have been free and natural as per the judges' opinions, but MAN! Vocally it was a total train wreck. I can't believe the judges thought she sounded good. I thought she sounded painfully bad.

Khalila

I thought the buildup to the end was well done. She didn't completely nail the vocal gymnastics she was going for, but she was close enough that I still think she sounded great. She also has a maturity on stage that I find very appealing. I voted for her four times.

Carly Rae

Head and shoulders above the rest of the pack this week. I do cringe when she turns on the 'sexy' because it clashes so very, VERY badly with her ingenue, elfin vibe. But aside from that I thought she was great this week.

Tara

Argh, she is sooo fake and politicianish in the spontaneous banter! ARGH! Cannot. Stand. It. However, I must admit it was her best-sung and grooviest performance yet, although it lost momentum towards the end. I'd still love to see her gone off my television screen, though. And did she honestly call Ben BENNY at the end of her slot? Yeesh.

Montana

Okay, I love Montana, but this week - no. Bad song choice. Her voice sounded week and the performance didn't blast the way we've seen the past two weeks. I absolutely think she should be top ten, but not based on that performance. I'm kinda worried about what the voting public will do. But I voted for her twice anyway because of what she's shown in previous weeks.

Martha

Okay, Martha, 'showing your joy' does not equal 'smiling and never stopping'. The permagrin means nothing if there's nothing behind it. Admittedly, it did get more real as it went on. Plus, the juxtaposition of the song and her broadway style didn't work for me at the end. But the girl really can sing, so I voted for her once.

Mila

I still find her personally repelling, but unfortunately for me, that spilled over into her performance this week. She sounded fantastic, but the obnoxious aura turned me off and the soft porn rolling on the piano was icky. However, I love her voice and her soul so I voted for her four times anyway.

Conclusions

I am hoping against all hope that we say goodbye to Annika this week. I would LOVE it if Tara could join her, but that so ain't gonna happen. I think, to my sorrow, it's actually going to be Mila - the voting public seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that she is awesome and keeps putting her in the bottom three, so I think this week her ride will be over. Either that or Khalila.

CI Review, 2007/07/09

Crap, crap, crap. Woke up this morning to find that my computer had lost power overnight, and everything I'd written about the guys was gone. Crap. Oh, and again...crap.

Let's see what I feel like recreating...

Matt

Of course Matt is the powerhouse voice among the guys. He did go back a bit this week to overusing the vibrato, but it wasn't too bad. I thought the performance was sweet and classy. The boy doesn't have much 'voom', but his voice and style are unique among the competitors so I think he should be in the top ten. I suspect Canada will feel the same way, especially since he comes across as so goshdarn nice.

Greg

Very solid. Very real. Not hop-out-of-my-seat electrifying, but I can't imagine that he won't sail through.

Tyler

I wasn't sure whether I liked or disliked what he did this week. It started out without his usual totally cool Tyler vibe...but then got better later on. He ditched the melody of the song, which I love...but he sounded good anyway. It was too growly...but I think he made it work by dipping occasionally into his Elvis voice. So it definitely wasn't my favourite thing from Tyler, but I still really like him.

Liam

Great voice. Shallow performance.

Jaydee

I'm with Zack. This is so far away from the kind of stuff I like that I can hardly comment on it. But I have to admit that it did work for him, even though it seems no one ever listens to me when I tell them to stay the hell away from the audience! So cheezy! Augh!

Brian

You know, I like Brian's voice, but even though he's been sort of pegged as a 'rocker' in this competition, there's just something way too 'boy band' about him. And the 'trueness' of his voice is not always reliable.

Dwight

Zack finally hit the nail on the head as to what is missing from Dwight's performances: charisma. It's been driving me nuts trying to figure it out, but that's it. The guy can rock, the guy can sing...but he's missing that spark of rockstar charisma so essential to his style, and I don't think he's winning the country over as a result.

Predictions

Greg, Tyler and Jaydee aren't going anywhere this week. I think Brian is gonezo, and unfortunately I suspect Dwight won't be far behind.

CI Review, 2007/07/04

The guys outclassed the girls this week.

Martha

Okay, scads better song choice for her this week. Josh Grobin is much more up her alley than Aerosmith (I still can't believe she did that) and it made her far more accessible to people. And of course her voice is terrific. I voted for her once on the strength of her voice.

Tara

Her performance was slightly more meaningful than last week (not saying much, that), but still, it never really got off the ground until the end. Plus it was vocally iffy in spots. Meh.

Naomi-Joy

She really thinks she's all that, doesn't she? Like, every moment she's on stage, she exudes this feeling of "I am a PROFESSIONAL, people! I know what I'm DOING! All I need to do is get discovered and I will be UP there with the likes of Celine and Whitney! Now where's my trailer?" But the reality is that she drained everything out of that song that I love about it without even sounding all that good. And this is twice now that she's received that kiss of death, "You look great."

Carly Rae

I cannot believe that singling out an audience member actually kind of worked. (I am, incidentally, hoping that Andrew was allowed to go back stage to change his pants during the next commercial break.) I really like her. Her joy on stage is great and the performance was fun. Her voice is a little annoying because of its girly quality, but hopefully she'll choose songs that turn that into a plus. I voted for her eight times (I meant to do seven, but I accidentally pressed redial one too many times.)

Scarlett

Bland. This was a very bad song choice because the song didn't highlight the strengths of her voice at ALL. It did get a bit better towards the end, but all in all it fell kinda painfully flat.

Montana

Her moves are so ridiculously outlandish, I should be laughing my ass off at her. But I LOVE it! She ROCKS! I love how into it she gets. Rock ON, girl! She's so damn cool and so the real deal. I voted for her twelve times.

Mila

I admit, I cannot listen to this song anymore without laughing because of the images it conjures up for me of Donkey singing it in Shrek. But! That aside, I love having someone on this show with real soul. She owns that stage. She's a pleasure to watch and listen to. I cannot BELIEVE she was in the bottom three last week, I think the rest of the country must be on crack. I voted for her twelve times.

Annika

First off, she suffered tremendously in comparison to the performance that preceded her. Mila has soul (which is an absolute prerequisite to perform this song) oozing out of every pore. Whereas Annika has no freakin' clue. There was no soul whatsoever...but plenty of hairbrush-in-front-of-the-mirror vibes. Yeesh. But hey, at least she had fun up there.

Khalila

Well, the strut was cheezy but she sure can sing, and she does come out as a 'lead singer' type when she's up there. But I agree that the song choice didn't do much for her. Nevertheless, I voted for her five times.

Top of the pack: Montana and Mila
Very good: Carly Rae
Decent: Khalila and Martha
Kinda painful: Tara, Naomi-Joy, Scarlett and Annika

Personally, I'm gunning for Naomi-Joy to hit the skids this week.

CI Review, 2007/07/03

Guys were pretty darn good last night! I was entertained.

Tyler

You always gotta kind of cringe at songs where it's mostly just one line repeated over and over again...but hey, he pulled it off. What can I say, I like the dude, he exudes the real deal and evokes Mick Jagger in a serious way.

Jaydee

I'm trying to figure out why I'm not retching all during his performances. I mean, the kid is as fresh-faced as they come, totally 50s-era innocent, cheeze and camp oozing all over everything he does...why do I not want to kill him? Instead I find him genuine and entertaining. There's an essential spark that he has that really makes him likeable. I would, however, like to see in future weeks if he can pull off something serious and emotional. (I can say 'future weeks' with confidence, because his charm, voice and white-bread good looks totally GUARANTEE he'll be sticking around.)

Matt

I think I winced when I heard what he was singing - one of the most overdone songs in Idol history - and I was expecting a repeat of the overuse of vibrato that we got from him last week. But to my delight, he really pulled it off, not just with his great voice, but with the sincerity of his performance. What also made it good was, as Sass said, the phrasing. Well done. Next time, Matt, match the clothes with the song and you'll be great.

Brian

The voice was a bit weak and pitchy this week, but he did sell the song well, so it almost doesn't matter. I suspect, though, that it was not enough of an audience-grabber performance to be memorable for voters.

Greg

Foot-tappity! Good stuff, I liked it. I have no idea if the copying of song ideas from AI contestants is deliberate or not, but I'm hoping for some originality next week.

Clifton

Erk. Schlock with a struggling voice. Next?

Liam

I love this song. And Liam sounded great, I agree with the judges about the depth and quality of his range and the distinctiveness of his voice. But the performance had no meaning! I think it was Zack who said the guts were missing, and I agree. Plus, very few peple can successfully pull off the 'flirting with one audience member' thing, folk, please, just don't do it, it's total cheeze, and not in a good way.

Andrew

Hey, I enjoyed that! Entertaining, sounded great (anyone else think he sounded like Sting?), thumbs up.

Dwight

This started out a bit lamely, but then, whammo! he pulled it out! Good on him. You hardly ever see that kind of genuine rawness on an Idol show. Props to Dwight.

Conclusions: Clifton is sooo obviously going home this week. As for the other guys, I suspect Matt, Brian and Liam may be the most in danger.

CI Review, 2007/06/26

Okay, firstly, apologies for missing doing a critique of last night's show. I was at my parents' place for the evening and I told myself all day NOT to forget to set up the VCR to time-tape it before I left...and of course, I forgot.

I agreed a whole lot with the judges tonight. There were so many times they said precisely what I was thinking, especially - and this was a shocker - Zack.

Tara

Her nerves seemed to get the best of her tonight. Her voice was weak, pitchy, and lacked breath control. The performance was cutesy and forgettable.

Martha

First, I have to say how I love her looks. She is such a beautiful woman! And she does have a gorgeous voice. But I don't think Idol is the right venue for her. Zack's right, her style/vibe just won't sell records. Musical theatre, sure, especially with all the over-enunciating she does. But this industry? Nope.

Montana

Hello, real deal! I really liked that. She genuinely rocks. Her accent made the phrasing a bit weird for me, but at the end of the day I don't much care. I voted for her 10 times.

Mila

From the interviews I've seen so far, I've got to admit I don't think I like her personality. And I can't BELIEVE she didn't know what Ben's mom's name was. (Sigh.) But holy CRAP, can she perform and SING! I loved it. I voted for her 10 times.

Maud

I didn't get to see the whole thing or the judge's reactions because the baby daughter decided to release two days' worth of stored-up poop into her diaper about 3/4 of the way through it, and I had to hustle her the hell up to the nursery for a change before she leaked all over the living room. However, this seemed verrrry imitative of the original to me...but more off-key. Much more hairbrush-in-front-of-the-mirror than a genuine performance.

Annikke

Again, because of Poop From Hell I missed the beginning, but...OUCH. When she wasn't being drowned out by the band, she was very off-tune. One of the judges called it 'limp' and I agree whole-heartedly.

Naomi-Joy

Was there a tune in there? Zack nailed it when he said it was "in the key of 'HUH?'". She seemed to just bring out every stereotype of what 'a rocker' is without it being genuine at all, and threw in a lot of 'sex kitten' to boot. Yikes.

Christine

TOTAL hairbrush performance. Vocally fine, and in some places actually, vocally very nice...but horribly overplayed.

Scarlett

I actually liked this more than the judges did. I thought her performance was fairly genuine and her voice sounded great. Admittedly, she was doing a lot of comforting-the-baby-at-4am rocking back and forth, and the key change was very strange, but I thought it was decent, especially when you consider that about half the field tonight kind of blew goat. I voted for her twice.

Kalila

Great voice and stage performance. I like how self-possessed she is on stage, it's very pro/star-qualityish. She brought realism and a decent amount of angst to the performance. I liked it. I voted for her 5 times.

Carly Rae

I will admit that a lot of my good opinion of Carly Rae comes from having watched and loved her during the audition process, ESPECIALLY her final solo in top 100 week (holy wow). This performance was not as great. I did like it very much when she was sitting on the stool, it was natural and very good. However, I'm with Zack, once she got up and started prancing around, the real deal vibe came to an end and it turned into Idol cheeze. But I still voted for her 5 times.

Top of the heap

• Montana
• Mila

Definitely belong in the top 10

• Kalila
• Carly Rae

Decent: Scarlett

Good but doesn't belong here: Martha

Screwed the pooch

• Tara
• Maud
• Annikke
• Naomi-Joy
• Christine

Most hilarious moment of the evening goes, hands-down, to Tyler. I can't remember which of the bad performances it was where the camera cut to him right after it wrapped up, but he was sitting there with the BEST horrified-stunned expression on his face. Total gold. :)

AI Review, 2007/05/08

Pretty bland evening, overall. But on the upside, Paula was unusually lucid last night, and I loved her suit. Sharp.

Melinda

I thought it was neat that she transformed the first song to really suit her style. Unfortunately, it ended up being pretty lacklustre. I agreed with Simon - for the top 4, I'm looking for people to really bust out, and that wasn't it. Her second song choice was also pretty dull, although she did redeem herself in the second half of the song.

Blake

This week, it was painfully clear that Blake is by far the weakest vocalist left in the competition. What he did have on his side was his fresh style - unfortunately, I don't think he took full advantage of that. I do think the judges were all on crack with his first song, especially Randy with that absurd 'beatboxing is getting old' comment. I think the beatboxing was totally appropriate, I really liked its combination with the disco (as ridiculous as that sounds), and hello, newsflash, Blake IS a beatboxer, that's his freakin' THING. The second song was a great choice, it had a very modern feel. Unfortunately he played it kind of boring, there was a ton more he could have gotten out of it, but he didn't do it.

LaKisha

I liked 'Staying Alive' a whole lot better than the judges. Again, Randy must've been on crack with his criticisms of how she did that off-beat stuff - I thought it helped make the whole thing. Second song was vocally fantastic as usual, but pretty ho-hum.

Jordin

Stand-out winner of the first round. She almost did it again on the second round, but her voice sounded too strained and lacked the effortless soaring of the first performance. Still, I thought she was the most consistently good of the night.

Best in show: Jordin
Possibly vulnerable: Melinda, LaKisha
Definitely vulnerable: Blake

Alas, for a top-4 show that really rocked. Anyone remember how Elliot Yamin TOTALLY pulled it out for this week out last year, and rocketed with surprising ease into the top 3? I miss those days. Sigh.

AI Review, 2007/04/24

It's not going to be much of a review this week, sorry. It took too long to put DD1 to bed last night and I missed most of Timberfake's performance. Then DH's best friend called to congratulate us on DD2's arrival, and that wiped out Melinda's performance and most of Blake's. Finally I handed the phone over to DH, who proceeded to talk so loudly that I could barely hear LaKisha and Phil. So! Not bloody much to go on.

Based on what I did hear, though, including the end-of-show recaps. I'd say that Chris seemed pretty meh; Melinda was her usual outstanding self; Blake was bland but sincere and listenable; LaKisha was vocally awesome but not terribly interesting; and Phil sounded amazing.

As for Jordin, she unfortunately chose a song that I canNOT take seriously evereverever, thanks to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series. (It's the song that Eddie the Shipboard Computer starts moaning out when the Magrathean nuclear missiles are about to hit the ship. Absolutely hilarious comedic moment, and it's impossible to take the song seriously after hearing it. Going to see "Carousel" is no longer an option because people tend to glare at me when I giggle through the most moving song of the whole musical. But I digress.) Moreover, she wavered off-pitch several times. So not my fave performance from Jordin.

I would say that Chris is the guy in serious danger this week. Blake will probably also find himself in the bottom 2.

AI Review, 2007/04/17

Took the week off last week - I was too busy giving birth to watch the show. But by all accounts, I don't seem to have missed much.

Phil

Well done, Phil. He was very comfortable and confident up there, taking charge of the stage and sounding damn good. I've always thought Phil had a good alternative-style voice, but it translates to country very well (and highly listenable country, at that).

Jordin

She's just soaring. Beautiful job. She really could charge up the middle to win this thing.

Sanjaya

Ugh. I can't believe he chose to massacre Bonnie Raitt. *sob* Okay, look, he's a nice guy, and his voice is alright - he just has a total dearth of genuine stage presence. It's all hokey and high school and karaoke, and therefore painful. I would, however, probably pay good money to see his dream of Simon singing Shiny Happy People come true.

LaKisha

I agree with the judges - there was a disconnect between her and the song. I didn't get the emotional connection Martina was talking about, and I thought her pitch was just slightly off the band throughout the whole thing.

Chris

Not bad. His voice does work very well in the country genre. But I think he was overpowered by the band - and, as usual, too nasal in parts.

Melinda

Hot damn, she's so good.

Blake

I liked it. It wasn't exciting, and there were moments when his vocals were strained, but it was distinctive and a very good blend with his style.

Best in show: Melinda
Top of the heap: Jordin and Phil
Strong: Blake
Between meh and fine: Chris and LaKisha
Ugh: Sanjaya

AI Review, 2007/04/03

Very solid night tonight. That was good entertainment. However, if Paul persists in her STOO-pid, sexist habit of complimenting the girls almost exclusively on how purty they are, as if that's the most important thing about their performances, I will have to hunt her down and impale her on her own manicured fingernails.

Blake

Terrific vocal! Probably the best vocal we've heard from him yet, I would say. This genre suits his voice surprisingly well, and he threw in some great vocal business, too. My ears were delighted. However, it was somewhat lacking in charisma.

Phil

Here's another guy whose voice is superbly suited for this genre. Superbly. That's what I believe Paula was talking about when she brought up the Frank Sinatra thing. Now, some of his longer belting notes wavered off-key a bit, and I do think he could have connected a bit more, but it was still pretty sincere and I believed it. The only other nitpick I have with it is that the tempo could've been more snappy. Oh, and I take back EVERYTHING I ever said about the bald thing. He had stubble in the intro and oh, man, the pattern baldness does NOT suit him. Keep shaving, Phil - it makes you look weird, but it's better than the alternative. I'm behind you now.

Melinda

Well, really - who COULD ask for anything more?

Chris

Weak vocally. His voice just sounded weird and amateur in this. But you know, if we could somehow combine his style/charisma/performance with Blake's vocal, oh, MAN, would we ever have had something. Very good working of the audience. If only he had sounded good.

Jordin

What is HAPPENING to this girl?!? Every week she seems to make new leaps and bounds with her professionalism, pre-possession and star quality. Nicely done. The only quibble I have is that her outfit (while great) clashed with her vibe tonight. The way she played it, a gown would have worked better.

Gina

Vocally, I thought that was very good indeed. I think Simon may have been on a wee bit of crack there. But I was kinda bored.

Sanjaya

This was actually a very smart song choice. The song choice meant that he didn't have to be vocally great (and he wasn't), he could be totally cheezy and goofy (and he was), and he could legitimately flash his 1000-watt teeth throughout the whole thing (and he did). But although yes, the boy has youthful charm, he ain't no Fred Astaire. Overall, I thought it wasn't painful, but it was pretty underwhelming.

Haley

Okay, what is with Simon and the look of death? Bitch. Anyway, back to Haley...great song choice. I especially thought she did a good job of breaking out of her shell in the first half - nice and flirty, perfect style match. The transition to the second half was awkward, though - it didn't make too much sense and there was no build to it. But overall, I think definitely one of her best performances and I thought she kept decent pace with the rest of the pack this week. Simon needs to stop being such a prick to her.

LaKisha

Now THIS is the kind of LaKisha I remember from the top 24 week! Back on form and "sassy" indeed. Awesome.

Masterful: Melinda, LaKisha, and also kinda Jordin
Solid: Blake, Phil, Haley, and also kinda Gina
Weak: Chris, Sanjaya

Yet another week where Sanjaya is the clear logical choice to be voted the heck on outta there. And he will probably remain safe AGAIN, sigh...probably leaving Phil, Chris and Gina at risk.

AI Review, 2007/03/27

Was it just me, or did Gwen not seem very helpful for the Idols? We've had fantastic insights and imparted wisdom in the previous two weeks from the other guest artists - Gwen just seemed to listen to the kids and not offer much except for her star power. Oh, well.

LaKisha

Let's get something straight right now - every time LaKisha opens her mouth, it is a vocal tour de force. I mean, her pipes are an absolute gift, she could cruise to the top five on that alone. And always, always with the professional presence, too. But I keep waiting week after week for the same kind of mind-blowing, goddamn-this-woman-is-a-star intensity that we saw in the first voting week when she made Jennifer Hudson look kinda sick. Come on, LaKisha, bring that back!

Chris S.

His voice sounded a bit weird at the beginning, with some tempo problems. But I think it picked up a bit later on, although I don't think he caught any of the charm of the song. Chris doesn't seem to be picking up and improving week-to-week, which I hate, because he's one of the few genuinely cool people in this competition.

Gina

GREAT vocal. Really, I think the best we've heard out of her yet. And a really good match with her style. Good vulnerability in the performance, too. I just wish I could get past the horrible hair and wardrobe choice. Ick! (Except for the boots. The boots were kinda cool.) But good on Gina - very good stuff.

And now, a commercial break, during which I shall retch from the two-second clip of Sanjaya's hair. What the HELL?!?

Sanjaya

Pretty good vocally. But honey - oh, HONEY. I just can't buy the "bad boy" thing. No. And come on, even Nadia had a hard time pulling off the fauxhawk. Remembering all the words would be good, too. Simon was bang-on - the boy is in his own damn universe. I'm even kind of numb to the pain now.

Haley

Meh. It was nice. Sounded nice, looked nice...nice, nice, nice. Whatever. Simon nailed it with 'sweet and forgettable'. Next?

Phil

If you ignore the horribly cheezy runs right at the end, that was GREAT. His voice sounded fantastic and he brought the right creepy intensity to the performance that this song needs. Highly highly enjoyable. Way to go, Phil.

Melinda

Disco queen! :) She could've brought a bit more fun to the performance, but hell, that was damn good anyway.

Blake

I genuinely liked that. Nice intensity, and there was something very sincere and caressing and all-the-time-in-the-world about it. I didn't find it boring. I especially liked the verses - his voice sounded excellent in them. Unfortunately, not so excellent in the choruses, though. I like Blake's softer voice much better - I find his voice too strained when he goes strong.

Jordin

I've never seen the video, but this struck me as being highly imitative. There seemed to be much more of the teen-girl-singing-into-her-hairbrush than the genuine performance about it. To the point that I found some of it to be a bit painful/embarrassing to watch. That said, there were a few really dynamic moments (especially right at the beginning) where you could really see what kind of an electric, exciting, highly current popular artist she could be.

Chris R.

Didn't believe it at all. Well sung, but with lyrics like that, you have to bring out the heartbreak - I felt zero heartbreak emanting from him. Actually, I don't think I felt much of anything emanating from him.

Strongest:

• Gina
• Phil
• Melinda
• Blake

Middling:

• LaKisha
• Chris R

In danger:

• Chris S (please stay, please stay, please stay...)
• Sanjaya
• Haley
• Jordin

AI Review, 2007/03/20

Great night tonight! Good TV. Nice job, kids. The voting could go very weirdly this week. Personally, I'd like to keep all the Idols around and vote Ashley the hell off the show, NEVER to return.

Haley

I agree with bits of what all the judges said. I think the song choice was very good. I think she showed more personality than we've ever seen from her. It was fun, and pretty well sung. Unfortunately, she was often overpowered by the band and backup singers, and frankly, I'll be remembering her legs more than the performance or the singing. But I do think it was the strongest thing I've seen from her yet, and from all the post-performance banter with Seacrest, I'm liking her personally more every week.

Chris R.

That was quite good. Well sung, nicely brought up-to-date without losing the charm of the melody, and a pretty honest performance. I'm still not a fan of the quality of his voice, but I have to admit that the overall effect was very strong.

Stephanie

Simon made a very good point about Stephanie losing her 'edge'. I thought this was a good song choice for her and that it sounded really good, but it didn't pack the emotional punch that it totally, TOTALLY could have if she'd really thrown her soul into it. With that arrangement and her voice and presence, she could have had hearts completely crying for her all over the continent. Instead, it came off as adequate.

Blake

Really good use of the beatbox thing to 'accessorize' the song. Verrry seductive verses. Unfortunately, slightly painful choruses, hearing his voice strain to hit the high notes. A lower key would have served him better. But good stuff.

LaKisha

Meh. I'm with Lulu, she really, REALLY should have gone for the other song. Ack. It sounded good, but it was very hokey/cruise ship-ish. Underwhelming.

Sinéad Phil

Lots of fun. Sounded awesome! I still wanted him to really pull it out more - as Simon said, with more 'grit', but I mean with the performing, not the voice - but overall, I liked what he did with it. (P.S. to Phil: Clean your shirt. Seriously, dude.)

Jordin

Niiice. Very wow. And, uh, hello, Simon? The fact that you felt like jumping off a bridge means that her emotional connection with the song and audience was spot-on. This performance was also noteworthy for provoking a bee-yew-tiful dis of Simon by Ryan.

Sanjaya

What. The. FUUUCK!!! Was THAT?!? I think that was the most unbelievable week-to-week turnaround ever in the history of Idol. Sanjaya was actually...um...good. There was rock. There was oomph. There was even - dare I say it - a bit of Mick Jagger channelling going on. The only truly annoying part of the whole thing was the constant cut-out to tearful Ashley (which was hardly Sanjaya's fault). I think I sat with my mouth hanging open the whole time. Way to go, kid. You turned something I fully expected to be unbearably painful into something genuinely entertaining. The shock value alone allows me to ignore the fact that it got kinda weak in the second half.

Gina

Loooove the hair. Not so sure what I thought about the performance, though. The vocal was weak in a lot of spots and the intensity sometimes fell down. but there were also bits I really liked. So, tough to call. She could be in real danger this week, though.

Chris S.

As always, glorious vocal. And great song choice. (I really dig Chris' taste in music.) Honestly, I could close my eyes and listen to him for ages. But I don't think he took Peter's advice to find the real (tragic) meaning of the song and sell it.

Melinda

Beautiful. Totally pro. The only bone I have to pick is that nobody who covers this song on this show EVER seems to have actually SEEN the damn musical! I wish someone would bring out the TRAGEDY of this song: The character singing is in an abusive relationship with a man who eventually BEATS HER TO DEATH. This is not a love song, people! Imagine how powerful it would be if someone played it properly! But still - a great performance.

Strongest:

• Chris R. (although not as strong as the two ladies I've put into this category)
• Jordin
• Melinda

Solid:

• Stephanie
• Blake
• Phil
• Sanjaya
• Chris S.

At risk:

• Haley
• LaKisha
• Gina

Hard to say who's going home - I'm thinking it's a toss-up between Haley and Gina.

AI Review, 2007/03/13

Brandon

Unfortunately, a certain little girl succeeded last night in doing quite a bit of bedtime stalling, and I didn't get back downstairs in time to catch Brandon's performance. From the quickie recap at the end, though, it looked like his usual cheezy fare.

Melinda

She has it. She just has It. I mean, that was a pretty boring song, but Melinda is a star and a pro - she owned the stage and she sold the song.

Chris S

I was pretty disappointed. Vocally this sounded terrific. But stylistically this was a huge clash. He tried to bring the melody into his style, but the backup band remained all Diana Ross, and it was just a big disconnect. I think it should have been the reverse - keep the original melody intact, but have the band playing alternative-style. That would really have been his bag. Alas. Also this week I realised that Chris kind of reminds of Penn (as in 'and Teller') - just cuter. :) And I really respect the way he truly listens to the judges' critiques. You can tell he's really taking into consideration the things they're telling him.

Gina

This was pretty fun, sounded good, and was just about the best thing she could have chosen from the week's theme to suit her style. I wasn't wowed, but I thought it was solid.

Sanjaya

The boy must be sent home. Really. He is very, very much out of his league here. This week, not only was it as bland and hokey as ever, but even his vocals fell down. Come on, America. I know he has great hair and everything, but PLEASE!

Haley

I thought she sounded quite good and had a few good moments, but I thought it kind of fell apart after she muffed the words. Add in the usual meaningless Haley hand gestures and I found it pretty weak.

Blake

I didn't like it. From the intro I expected something really up-to-date and exciting, but I just didn't find that it ended up that different from the original. Despite what Randy said, I don't think it was "Blake-ized" at all. I was bored.

LaKisha

Why are Melinda and LaKisha even in this competition? Shouldn't they be very busy already playing live to huge audiences every night and selling gobs of records?

Phil

Vocally excellent - it was a real pleasure to listen to. I also thought the performance itself was quite charming. Not spectacularly oomphy, but definitely charming.

Stephanie

This sounded good and she had good stage presence, but I found the whole thing kind of boring. I didn't know the song, either, which didn't help. My husband explained what the judges were talking about - the song apparently has this seriously up-tempo part in the middle, and the lack of that from Stephanie's arrangement just made the whole thing fall flat.

Chris R

Vocally this was pretty nightmarish. Although there were some very solid-sounding parts, the majority of it was pretty painful to listen to. He did do a pretty good job of making the song contemporary, but in my book, if it sounds bad when you do that, say goodnight.

Jordin

This is the most mature performance I've seen out of her yet. Good job. I don't think it was vocally as perfect as the judges let on, but Jordin is showing growth and more depth, and that's great.

Top of the heap:

• Melinda
• LaKisha

Third: Jordin

Middle of the pack:

• Gina
• Phil

Boring:

• Chris S
• Blake
• Stephanie

Unknown: Brandon

Should be in the bottom three but be safe:

• Haley
• Chris R

Must go home: Sanjaya

Other important items of note:

• Diana Ross, you are a legend and a star, but there is NO SUCH FRICKIN' WORD AS "PRONUNCIATE"! Augh!
• Ugliest cleavage of the night: Haley
• Most delicious cleavage of the night: Melinda

AI Review, 2007/03/07

Ahhh...nothing like a Wednesday night to highlight how pathetic Tuesday night was. The ladies are showing the men up sooo bad this year. Ouch.

Jordin

You either have to have courage or stupidity (or both) to take on the Benatar. Considering the song choice, I think Jordin did a pretty good job. She certainly has the raw vocal talent. There were off notes, yes. And jiggly, teenage energy is NOT the same thing as aggressive angst, which is what this song requires. But she did have a few moments where she almost reached out through the screen and grabbed you by the scruff of the neck. So not bad. Solid. Probably could have been more solid if she hadn't been overshadowed, volume-wise, by the band and the backup singers.

Sabrina

A few bum notes and overly shouty tones did mar this performance a bit, but the quality of her voice and her on-stage presence cannot be denied. I would like her to show a little variety in her song choices, though.

Barbie Antonella

Sigh. Okay, in Antonella's favour, this was a VERY good song choice for her, especially compared to the horrendous choices she made the last two times out. Unfortunately, the girl just doesn't have the vocal chops (or ability to stay in-tune) to compete here. And her stage presence is not enough to make up for it. She is gorgeous to look at, and Simon's right, she seems to be handling the crap that's being dumped on her in the media very well. However, she does not belong in the top 12 and needs to be sent home post-haste. And you know that Marisa girl that Antonella beat out for a place in the top 24? She must be gnawing on her liver right now for having been passed over in favour of this kind of crap, poor thing.

Stephanie

Very solid, as usual, although I think there were a couple of faintly iffy moments vocally. But she's going to have to change it up a little bit to keep me interested over the long haul.

Haley

I think Haley's doing the best she can. She sounded great, she chose a song that I thought suited her just fine. It's just that she suffers in comparison to the consummate professionalism that runs rampant within her competitors. Also, her hand movements are kinda annoying.

LaKisha

Most people are fools to invite comparison to A Voice such as The Whitney. But hooooo, can LaKisha hold her own vocally! That sounded dee-licious. Unfortunately, I have yet to see a return of that STUNNING stage presence that we saw in Top 24 Week. And this song NEEDED it. When she got to that part about 'don't you walk away from me', we all should have been BLASTED back in our seats. But it never went there. Sad She should have DEMANDED attention from the audience towards the end, and didn't. So I was a bit disappointed, even though by comparison to almost everyone else it was terrific.

Gina

Ack! So weak vocally tonight! Her voice sounded stretched very thinly, and she missed several key notes. But I enjoyed the performance, I liked watching her have fun, and I especially liked the totally different style she brought to the evening. Not so much liking the peekaboo thing with the pink bra, but hey, stuff happens. Smiley I agree with Simon, I think we need her in the top 12. I hope America puts her through.

Melinda

What is there to say? I mean, really, WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?!? I so love her. LOVE. HER. That was amazing.

Standout winner: Melinda

#2: LaKisha

Into the top 12:

• Sabrina
• Stephanie

Not so certainly into the top 12 but I sure as hell hope so:

• Jordin (who gets my thumbs-up for making us laugh at Seacrest's shortness without being at all mean about it)
• Gina

Cannot win in this crowd: Haley

Must go immediately: Antonella

AI Review, 2007/03/06

Do you suppose that maybe...MAYBE...if we stuck all of these boys into a wading pool and tossed in a live wire carrying 6000 volts of electricity...that we might actually get a show out of the guys with some friggin' ENERGY?!?

I mean, damn! Show some life, people! Augh!

Blake

Well, technically this was good, unique, entertaining, etc...but I really keep wishing he would bring out more magnetism to really make his performances shine.

Sanjaya

There was a moment near the end - just a moment - where his voice started to get really fired up and I thought, "Oooh! We're going to see something here!" And then...no. Just overall a sweet, smiley, decently-sung piece that was entirely forgettable.

Sundance

Ouch. I think this was a good song choice...I just think he screwed the pooch on it. Most of the notes were off, and the energy was very restrained.

Chris R.

This was a very interesting song choice. I think Chris decided to show America this week that he can sing and be versatile. So in those respects I think he absolutely achieved what he was going for. The performance was fairly believable. What brought it down for me is that I don't give a scrawny damn about that kind of music.

Brandon

More life and energy than we've seen from him yet - a definite plus. Which brings him up to the energy level of...the rest of the guys. Not so much of a plus. And what was someone I know was saying last week that SUNDANCE shouldn't be dancing ever again? Brandon pulled out some very - uh - unique foot movements of his own this week. Overall, a good effort, sounded good, showed some life.

Jared

I see that Jared is still working in cruise ship/lounge singer mode. Big yawn. Plus, his voice wavered 'off' on some of the notes. And to top it all off, he invited comparison to Elliott Yamin, who absolutely KILLED this song last season. BIG mistake. Elliott has real, honest-to-goodness soul. You can see it shining out of his soul in every head shake, handswipe and otherwise groovy movement. Jared does not have this by any stretch of the imagination.

Phil

Rather painful at the beginning. Some very iffy pitch moments throughout. Not as emotionally convincing as his other performances. Great falsetto, though.

Chris S.

I agree with Randy - vocal prize of the night. This sounded great. And he was certainly one of the top energy-bringers of the evening, which unfortunately isn't saying much. Chris! Can you hear me?!? It is time to BUST OUT!!! Please!

Probably quite safe:

• Blake
• Chris R
• Chris S

Anybody's guess:

• Brandon
• Jared
• Phil

My choices for bottom two:

• Sanjaya
• Sundance

AI Review, 2007/02/28

Gina

Verrrry risky doing Heart. Especially since she is not one of the top vocalists among the women (very good, of course, but not at the top, not in this crowd). But, although I did think she could have done it much more edgy, I think she pulled it off. Plus, I like her.

Elaina

Pitchy throughout. I didn't believe for one moment that she was "mad as hell". And what the heck was with the squinty thing? Is that her 'mad' face? Ay yai yai.

Lakisha

Man, she just sings like BUTTA. :) Not up to last week's standard, but heck, the girl has earned herself the right to coast, and she was still terrific.

Melinda

And here we have the winner of the night! Oh my GAWD she was so good. She owned that stage COMPLETELY. Add in the righteous vocals and you have someone who could not be caught tonight.

Antonella

I'm trying to figure out if this girl is genuinely stupid. I'm thinking...yeah, maybe. She has one of the weakest voices in the competition, she made a terrible impression last week, I have NO idea why America didn't send her home, and to counter all of that, she pulls out...CELINE?!? Has she ever actually WATCHED any previous seasons of this show? Oh, it was just painful. I had to look away.

Jordin

Not as believable with this song as I wanted her to be, and some of the vocals were a little wonky (I will chalk that up to her having gotten all vorklempt from watching her own dedication clip - crying does not lend itself to vocal control). However, she will have no problems coasting this week on the fabulous belting quality of her voice. Moving forward, though, she's got to polish it up and pull herself together more.

Stephanie

After hearing the judge's comments I'm starting to doubt my own sanity. Was it just me, or did Stephanie never ever get a handle on the tempo of that song? To me, her timing was all over the place and I couldn't get into it at all. However, the good news is that her voice and stage presence were still enough to keep her near the top. Also, she wins my vote for most gorgeously turned out lady of the evening.

Leslie

Simon's right, Leslie suffered by comparison to the run of divas that came before her. That said, I thought it was pretty good. She sounded good, kind of got into it, stood out with the scatting, got to use the raspiness of her voice that I really like...not bad. I don't think she has much hope of making it into the top 12, but I think she deserves to stick around for another week.

Haley

I think the judges were overly harsh. This was a very intelligent song choice - to come out with something really energetic and exciting was a very good contrast to last week. I thought she sounded fine, and she almost had the personality to pull it off. The big problem was all the bouncing around. Aieee! Waaaaay too manic. It was more reminiscent of a teenage girl airbanding it into a hairbrush in front of her bedroom mirror than a real performance. But it was a vast improvement from last week.

Sabrina

Sooo often on Idol you get people who do the meaningful, schmaltzy love ballad and it just falls ridiculously flat and ho-hum. But here we have a person who - gasp! - actually pulled it off. Now, parts of it were pitchy, which was distracting, and I agree with Simon that last week was better for her. But it was still quality.

So we have...

Standout winner: Melinda.

Excellent: Lakisha.

Also up there:

• Gina
• Stephanie
• Sabrina

Deserving of votes:

• Jordin
• Leslie
• Haley

Need to be given a ticket home as soon as humanly possible:

• Elaina
• Antonella

AI Review, 2007/02/27

To sum up: Another yawn-fest. Not as much as last week's, but still...guys...come ON.

Phil

I love Phil's voice. I really, really do. He brings a mature presence to the stage, and if you ignore the baldness (seriously dude, grow some frickin' hair), he's verrry easy on the eyes. But while it was good tonight, it wasn't great - he held back. It was only in the last 7 seconds or so that he started to really pull it all out, and that's just not enough. He needed to do more for this to be really stand-out.

Jared

Alright, he sounded much better this week, kinda put himself into it...the problem is that the lyrics to that song are so creepy that I have a hard time getting past them. Also, there was a fair amount of cheeze in the performance - I agree with Simon about the cruise lounge singer thing. But a definite improvement.

AJ

Interesting. I really liked the arrangement, with that softness at the beginning. AJ brought out a little bit of vulnerability for that part of it, and he almost pulled it off. Then he went into belting mode and again, almost pulled it off.

Sanjaya

Oh, dear. Tiny Talent Time...only more amateur. The kid can sing...but it's crystal clear that he really is still just a kid. (It's kind of like Daryl Brunt all over again, but with less polish.) I was beyond bored. Still, you gotta hand it to him, he's young and emotionally vulnerable and he is getting POUNDED by the judges up there, but he holds it all together for the cameras and comes out positive.

Nick

Much more magic this time around, and he showed us what he could do with that voice. I liked it. However, there was still something missing. His presence on the stage needs to be 'bigger'. (And am I the only one who keeps getting reminded of Wil Wheaton when I see him?)

Blake

Blake's ace-in-the-hole is that he is unique among all the other Idol competitors. And he played that card tonight. But I agree with Simon, I thought the beginning and end were kinda 'meh' and it was only the middle that was original. However, I gotta say that the boy can sing. That keeps me listening.

Chris S

I'm starting to see a pattern with Chris. You know all that dry humour he spouts? My experience is that people who do that are trying to protect themselves against people getting to really know them and running the risk of hurting them. It's a very effective shield. And unfortunately, I think he does something very similar when he performs. There's a wall. He doesn't connect with the audience. He has tremendous potential, and if he had connected with the audience for this song, I think we would all be melted puddles on the floor...but he never goes to that place and I keep feeling let down. I suspect this is why he keeps struggling to make it in the industry...it's not his look, it's not his personality, it's certainly not his voice...it's the fact that he holds back from delivering real performances. Lose the wall, dude. Let us in.

Brandon

Sorry...what was that? I think I dozed off there for a moment.

Chris R

I wasn't a fan of this performance, but I'm perfectly willing to admit that this is because the genre of the music is not to my taste. The audience loved it, the judges loved it...I'm willing to defer to all those people.

Sundance

Um...holy crap...he CAN sing!!! Wow! Now THAT was a pleasure to listen to. There was a bit of personality missing to make it totally kick-ass, but that was definitely, definitely good. He'll sleep well tonight with that performance under his belt, boy howdy.

Top of the heap:

• Phil
• Blake
• Chris S
• Sundance
• probably Chris R

Deserves votes:

• Jared
• AJ
• Nick

So going home:

• Sanjaya
• Brandon