Selfish is good

(This is an incredibly late recap of the October 5 show.)

We must immediately flash back to last week so that the viewership can understand what's going on. The most important message is that THIS SEASON IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER SEASONS SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD DON'T CHANGE THAT DIAL. The yellow line at weigh-ins is around the halfway mark. This drops a ton of people below, which means we need an elimination challenge so people can fight to stay out of the elimination room. Also, the first weigh-in did not go well for the ladies. Finally, it came down to Allie and Tina. Tina begged tearfully to stay and was kept, leaving Allie terrified of going home.

So what's happening now? What a great question! Could there be...drama??? Patrick interviews that things are TENSE. People are upset and aggravated. The concept of eliminating contestants every week is finally starting to sink in and people are feeling a little stunned. Brendan continues to have one of the hairiest torsos I've ever seen.

Having survived the elimination, Tina is feeling really guilty about having begged to stay over Allie. Lisa interviews that she's really bummed that Allie is gone. And Ada says there are "whispers" going around the house that Tina actually now wants to go home.

Seems like the whispers are true! Tina addresses the entire house and thanks them for keeping her, but then breaks into tears. Almost incomprehensibly (what with all the crying), she confesses that she has guilt, says that her begging to stay was "being all screwed up", and says she's going to ask to go home today.

The hell?

Look, chickie, going home now is not going to bring Allie back! She was already eliminated, her plane has probably touched down in Oklahoma by now, you're not doing ANYBODY any favours by going home, you're just giving up on yourself.

Frado sums my feelings up nicely by telling Tina she's being selfish and she needs to take advantage of the opportunity. Moreover, he says, as Rick nods in agreement, her responsibility is to honour Allie and stay. Brendan also points out, quite rightly, that going home the day after the elimination makes no sense. Tina claims she just doesn't want to bring anybody down, which makes even LESS sense. If she's a weak link that's guaranteed to be below the yellow line, she would actually bump everyone else UP one position. I'm thinking Tina just isn't too bright. Brendan also calls her selfish. Rick, that wise and perceptive paternal figure, asks her if there's anything at home that she wants to go back for. Tina reveals that right before she came on the show, she withdrew $16K from her retirement fund to take her entire family on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

Ah.

Okay, NOW her actions are making sense.

This doesn't change much, though - the rest of the house is still flabbergasted that she wouldn't want to be here. But wait, there's even more flabber to gast! Lisa says that Allie going home has shortened HER stay in the house, because she believes Allie can't lose weight at home and she wants to go home so she can help Allie to do it.

The hell?

Patrick, again expressing my feelings beautifully, interviews that that's absurd. However, Lisa has certainly been effective in taking the heat off Tina, because now everyone concentrates on pointing out how ridiculous LISA is being. Seriously, Lisa? Your mothering complex is THAT BAD that you are willing to throw away a lifetime, life-changing opportunity and sacrifice yourself for some young woman that you only met, what, a month ago? What about Lisa's kids, Frado asks. Lisa has no answer, she just says that she and Allie can do this together because they live just ten miles apart. Elizabeth points out that Lisa needs to take care of herself. Lisa isn't listening. Like, at all. Frado shakes his head pityingly in an interview. Jessica offers to help the both of them pack.

So the show sends Bob in to handle All Teh Drama. When he finds out what's happening, he calls bullshit and tells Tina she's not ready to go home and that every person here is just as deserving to stay as everyone else. He reflects that the first elimination always makes everyone crazy. His cure is to take them all to the gym. No Jillian, just Bob, and it will be a major circuit workout. In fact, from now on, ALL workouts have to be insane because weigh-ins can obviously apparently at any moment. Adam senses impending doom.

Adam interviews that he thinks Bob is on a mission to find out if anyone else is feeling less than totally committed to this process. Case in point: Bob threatens to break Jesse's legs and beat him with them. Much sweat is exuded. We get a bit of focus on Patrick and hear again that his purpose for being here is his children. Who, I might say, are really cute. :) Elizabeth's focus is to be healthy so she can do things she loves, like dancing.

Moans. Falls. Puking. Yells. Sweat. Etc.

Great line from Burgandy: "Bob crushes you into dust and then asks you to enjoy it."

But it works, because Lisa walks out of the gym that day feeling good about herself.

Bob is also having the same problem with Brendan as I have with my older daughter getting ready in the mornings: he's not going fast enough and is hoping to take advantage of Bob's inattention to go slower. Bob channels my parenting and calls him on his shit.

Frado interviews macho-ly that Bob gave him the toughest workout of his life...and he's been in the Marine Corps and played football, dammit, so you KNOW that Bob's a goddamn hardass. Rick gets amused in an interview about how loud Frado is in the gym. He sure does yell. :) He also, with classic military mindset, refuses to talk back to Bob. It's Bob's gym, and Bob is in charge.

Sadly, Jesse has no such mindset. "You got something to say to me, Jesse?" Bob asks him. "I don't have shit to say to you, Bob," replies Jesse as he walks away to a stair machine. Bob's eyes go wide with disbelief. Jesse starts whining about how things are hard for him, while Bob demands respect. Jesse apologizes. But it's too late. In return for Jesse's bad behaviour, Bob decides not to give everyone the easier thing he was planning for them to do. Naturally, this makes Jesse feel like crap, especially since he really does respect Bob a lot.

Tina shows Bob pictures of her kids and grandchildren. Oh, says Bob, she's such a nurturer. But how can you take care of others if you don't take care of yourself? We also find out that Tina's daughter is enormous and has diabetes and other obesity-related health problems. Her daughter tried out for the show but it's Tina who's here. (Geez. If I were Tina, I would be happy to stay on the ranch, rather than going home and risking my kid coming after me with a shotgun because I screwed her up so badly.) Bob talks to her about not giving up, and tells her that she does have strength, and she needs to be here so she can pay it forward to her daughter. Tina decides that she owes it to her daughter to stay.

Yeah, I don't buy it. Tina's just an emotional see-saw.

Meanwhile, Jillian is (predictably) really pissed off because almost all the women were below the yellow line last week. Bob's not particularly happy about it, either. Jillian takes the girls outside and tells them this is unacceptable and she does not want this season to be a jockfest. Well, maybe Jillian, if you didn't call them GIRLS all the time, and maybe started referring them as WOMEN, so that they could internall DEFINE themselves as such, they'd start kicking a little more ASS? Just a suggestion there.

Tennis, anyone? The show has brought in Anna Kournikova. Burgandy is very excited. The camera assists with Anna's entrance by slowing down and softening up, and the Biggest Loser crew brings out a wind machine for her hair, and we get an interview with Mark telling us that all the male contestants were especially gobsmacked. Jesse also tells us that she is "slammin' hot". Apparently, Anna could teach him calligraphy and he would be riveted. (As a calligrapher, I find calligraphy very interesting, and I take exception to that statement. Unfortunately, I suspect that Jesse's backup "most boring activity ever" would have been knitting, which I'm also obsessed with, so either way, I must be the world's dullest recapper.) At any rate, in case you didn't notice, the point here is that Anna Kournikova is hot.

Anna tells us that the most important thing is to always keep your feet moving and your heartrate up. Adam had no idea that tennis was so demanding. Brendan interviews that it's a great workout and is much more fun than the gym. Anna was inspired by the contestants and hopes she inspired them, too. Turns out she inspired Brendan to hug her for an inappropriately long length of time and comment on how great she smells. Fantastic, now she has a hairy-backed stalker.

Bonus video: Cardio tennis! In which the point is not to be good at tennis, but to burn calories. (Okay, then, I'm in. I SUCK at tennis.) Rick (whom she calls Richard, which I bet thrills him no end) gets a hug from Anna. Aaron is a big fan, so this is a dream come true. She demonstrates hopping side-to-side to Brendan and all he does is look at her ass. He admits in an interview that it was very hard to concentrate with her around. Jesse plans a proposal. Burgandy feels likes she's in her element. Ali thanks Anna for coming and Anna is deluged with sweaty hugs. By golly, she's a good sport.

But wait, the fun is not finished, there's a challenge! The prize is immunity at this week's weigh-in. Everybody gets a cylinder and has to fill up other people's tubes with tennis balls they have to run onto the court and get. Once your tube is full, you're out.

Brendan's goal is to avoid giving balls to Frado or Patrick, as the three of them have an alliance. Frado just wants to give balls to Tina. And he's not alone - everyone gets in on the action. Adam defines this as "making Tina earn her spot". Tina receives the message. The next target is Burgandy, who apparently was talking about taking all the men out first, so Brendan wants her gone. Burgandy doesn't quite know why she was targeted, but chooses to believe it's because she's viewed as a threat. (Um, honey? No.) Sophia, Ada, Lisa, Aaron, and Adam are next to go. Things are getting tough and gruelling for the remaining players as Elizabeth is taken out, and then Rick, Mark, Jessica, and Jesse. Unsurprisingly, it's the three-man alliance of Frado, Patrick and Brendan left standing. Adam remarks that maybe they have some kind of agreement? (Good call, Adam. I'll be interested in seeing where you go with that line of thinking over the next few weeks.)

Finally, it's Frado with immunity. In triumph, he yells. (No surprise.) He vows not to take it as a free ride and will continue his intensity in the gym.

Oh, and hey, surprise! Weigh-in tomorrow! Rick tells us that the contestants have been completely wrong so far in predicting what will happen next, so they might as well give up trying.

Super-secret meeting of the three-man alliance! And Patrick makes absolutely sure that it will be super-secret by sticking his head out the door and making sure the hallway is TOTALLY CLEAR before going back inside whoever's bedroom they're meeting in. (Yeah. Like if anyone happened to see him do that, they would NEVER GUESS that something was going on.)

Bonus video: more footage of the super-secret meeting. Brendan admits that he's sort of dumb as sand, but he's got street smarts, dammit. Also, people have apparently been trying to listen to their super-secret meetings. Patrick interprets this to mean that people are scared of them. (Gawd, what are these, people, five?) Brendan suggests coming up with a strategy to vote specific people out, but Frado would rather just work hard in the gym and keep each other safe. Brendan points out that that's great, but there are going to be weeks where, y'know...which I guess means that there will be weeks where the opportunity will present itself to eliminate serious threats (Mark immediately springs to my mind, for instance). Brendan defines Frado as a tough Marine and Patrick defines himself as a country bumpkin. Frado welcomes him to the city. :)

Nothing really interesting happens, except that they all tell each other how great they all think each other is. Oh, and they promise to make sure that no one finds out what they've got going on. Fist-bumps ensue.

And now, the Dreaded Second Weigh-in (introduced by Jillian, who is still not over the lack of female achievement on the scale), where people typically throw up very low numbers. And indeed, my weight predictions this week are based on subtracting an entire percentage point from people's weekly average so far (remembering that last week's weigh-in occurred TWO weeks after the initial weigh-in, so I divided last week's results by two to get "average"), and my predictions kicked some serious ASS. I guessed exactly right for several people.

(Yes, I'm tooting my own horn. Shut up, it's my blog. Besides, being selfish is good.)

Milestones achieved:

• Mark hit the 50lb mark of total loss
• Patrick hit the 25lb mark of total loss
• Adam, Mark and Jesse hit the 10% mark of total loss
• Sophia moved from being morbidly obese to clinically obese

Frado's number was particularly bad, with just a 3lb loss. He pretends that he feels bad, but come on, he totally waterloaded. A good week to do it, since the Dreaded Second Weigh-in provides an excellent screen for bad numbers. Even Jillian is taken in, saying that she doesn't think Frado is a game-playing type of person. (Oh, Jillian, what charming naivete.) But he practically admits it in an interview.

I should go on record here to say that I don't think badly of anyone for waterloading when they have immunity. It is an extremely smart move, it makes total sense, and actually I think it would be silly NOT to do it. Artificially raising your weight by drinking a bunch of water when your weight loss doesn't matter one week means that you will have a fantastic number at the next weigh-in once the water is out of your system and you've had another week of working out and eating right. So getting immunity one week is actually like getting immunity for two, if you play it right. Frado played it right. I have no qualms. I just wish people would be more honest and not pretend that they're not doing it.

The ladies do somewhat better than last week, but not a whole lot - this time there are two of them above the line instead of just one. (Notice that the only female who's been above the line both times is Ada. I am starting to love her. Sadly, she still has no love for herself. But hopefully we'll get around to fixing that soon.)

Adam, as the biggest loser of the week, gets to save someone. Burgandy, who lost just a pound this week, pleads her case to him for staying, and he looks like he's seriously considering it.

After a product placement and Tina telling Bob she actually now wants to stay (see-saw!), we have a workout. Bob promises Aaron - who is very frustrated at dropping below the line - that they're going to fix things. Jillian kicks the guys' asses. Bob reflects on the need to not beat the crap out of the contestants who need to participate in the elimination challenge, since they need to be fresh for the challenge. My husband remarks how that sucks, since people who fall below the line would then get a substandard workout and run an even greater risk of falling below the line the following week.

Bob uses the workout to try and teach Lisa to be selfish. She cries and Bob tells her he sees something special in her. Oh, also, he mentions the pay-it-forward theme again.

Bonus video: Adam marvels at all the alliancing and gameplaying that's starting to go on - why not just do your best and work out? But of course he has a gameplay-related decision to make about whom to save from the elimination challenge. Lisa reassures him that she doesn't expect the pass just because they're good friends. Plus, Bob gave her An Epiphany, so everything's cool. "I don't know what I'm gonna do," Adam reflects as she leans on his shoulder. "I mean about lunch," he then clarifies. Okay, that was funny. :)

Aaron's workout has him thinking about getting rid of his losing attitude. This makes him start to think about how maybe he should fight for himself. So he asks Adam to consider saving him. This is kind of a breakthrough realisation for Aaron, asking for help, that's pretty good. And it makes a difference, because Adam does end up choosing to save Aaron.

The elimination challenge is to dig through four massive piles of sand (one pile at a time) looking for a brass ring. Whoever finds the brass ring in a pile first is safe from elimination, and the remaining people at risk have to move to the next pile and dig again. By the end of it, there will be two players without rings, and they will be the players up for elimination. Brendan does a lot of whining about how he deserves a ring and can't believe he hasn't found a ring, and how he uncovered a ring, but Sophia grabbed the ring, and ring ring ring waa waa waa...suck it up boy, dig!

Once all the dust, er, sand, clears, the two people on the block are Lisa and Tina. Burgandy notes the poetic justice that the two people who said they wanted to go home at the beginning of the week are the two up for elimination. Lisa makes a heartfelt plea, saying that for a while she was wanting to go home to her kids and wasn't really working hard, but she now knows she's not ready and needs to stay. Brendan is unmoved, he calls bullshit. Tina simply says that she worked hard and it's up to the rest of them. She doesn't put much effort into her case, which disgusts Adam. He doesn't seem to be alone in these feelings, because Tina gets the boot without Lisa even receiving a single vote.

Back at home, Tina is continuing to fight the good fight and has helped her daughter lose a bunch of weight, too - 85lbs! Tina is down to 205lbs, which is a BMI of 32.1, so she's now merely obese. Tina wants her and her daughter to come on the finale together on stage.

Next week:

Look for the following milestones:

• Adam could drop below the 350lb mark
• Rick could drop below the 300lb mark
• Sophia could drop below the 250lb mark
• Elizabeth could drop below the 225lb mark
• Ada, Sophia, Tina, Lisa and Jessica could hit the 25lb mark of total loss
• Aaron, Rick, Jesse and Adam could hit the 50lb mark of total loss
• Aaron, Tina, Patrick, Brendan, Frado, Jessica and Ada could hit the 10% mark of total loss
• Adam, Rick and Mark could hit the 15% mark of total loss
• Jesse could move from being super-obese to morbidly obese
• Jessica and Lisa could move from being morbidly obese to clinically obese

Standings

#	loss %	total loss %	lbs lost	total lbs lost	BMI
1	Adam (3.26)	Rick (12.57)	Adam, Patrick (12)	Mark (52)	Burgandy (37.4)
2	Patrick (3.17)	Mark (12.35)		Adam (46)	Ada (37.8)
3	Jesse (2.95)	Adam (11.44)	Mark (11)	Rick (44)	Tina (38.1)
4	Mark (2.89)	Jesse (10.84)	Jesse (10)	Jesse (40)	Elizabeth (39.3)
5	Jessica (2.61)	Brendan (9.94)	Rick (8)	Aaron (37)	Sophia (39.5)
6	Rick (2.55)	Ada (9.30)	Aaron, Jessica (7)	Brendan (36)	Lisa (40.6)
7	Ada (2.50)	Patrick (8.50)		Patrick (34)	Jessica (40.9)
8	Sophia (2.33)	Frado (8.17)	Ada, Sophia (6)	Frado (30)	Brendan (44.2)
9	Lisa (1.84)	Aaron (7.91)		Ada (24)	Rick (45.2)
10	Tina (1.62)	Tina (7.60)	Brendan, Lisa (5)	Jessica, Lisa (21)	Frado (45.7)
11	Aaron (1.60)	Jessica (7.45)			Adam (45.7)
12	Brendan (1.51)	Sophia (7.35)	Tina (4)	Sophia, Tina (20)	Mark (46.1)
13	Elizabeth (1.29)	Lisa (7.29)	Elizabeth, Frado (3)		Patrick (47.0)
14	Frado (0.88)	Elizabeth (6.15)		Elizabeth (15)	Jesse (50.0)
15	Burgandy (0.46)	Burgandy (5.63)	Burgandy (1)	Burgandy (13)	Aaron (52.5)