Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Biggest Loser Review, 2009/01/27

Well, all in all, a fairly decent show, I think, - until the elimination at the end. :( At least I didn't have to psychoanalyze anyone this week.

First of all, I would like to ask the producers of the show what the hell is up with their math. At the end of week one, we were all told that at the end of 30 days, anybody who went home as part of the Great Couples Split-Up could come back to the ranch if their partner was still there. Right? THIRTY DAYS. Now, I'm rather sure that one week is seven days long, so at the end of Week 2, seven days would have passed since the partners were given the thirty-day story. At the end of Week 3, fourteen days would have passed. At the end of Week 4, twenty-one days would have passed. Last time I checked, twenty-one is less than thirty.

So, then, why the hell did the partners all show up at the Week 4 weigh-in? Anyone? Bueller? Bah. Stupid producers. Can't even count. What bull.

Anyway, moving on...

Hearty congratulations to Jillian's team (yes, I'm being totally sarcastic) for destroying the unity and goodwill in the house. As Kristin interviewed, all Jillian's team had to do was be HONEST about the fact that they planned to vote for Damien. There's nothing wrong with that! Instead they betrayed Bob's team's trust, pissed them off royally, and set us all up for yet another team-vs.-team season of bitterness, all for no apparent reason. Anybody see the look Filipe gave Tara after her success at the weigh-in? So much for building up goodwill with that here-take-my-phone-call-home favour. Nice job, morons. Sigh.

Did that glazed rosemary chicken not look FANTASTIC?!? OMG, I want some right now. That "nature's skewer" thing is genius. I'm disappointed that the 2lb pass Dan won for Dave ended up being totally useless, but I'm delighted that Dave did manage to get some time with a chef to acquire some food skills. He DESPERATELY needs them.

Good for Joelle for stepping it up (sometimes literally!) - her breathy "No excuses" kind of stuff still gets on my nerves, but I'm so glad she seems to have had her breakthrough. Way to go.

Good for the show for sending Blaine home this week. Really, there was no excuse not to. You should never have to miss the birth of your child, even when doing something as important as getting healthy. What an absolute sweetie that baby was! Just when I was starting to think maybe I could be okay with not having a third child, along comes a gorgeous newborn on my television screen. Again, sigh. Blaine and his wife have some seriously gorgeous children. I so love that they're the centre of his world.

Anyhoo, back to the ranch...

Dane and Tara didn't have a hope in hell of winning that challenge. That kind of thing absolutely SCREWS anybody who's ever displayed strength in the past, and gives the people who fly under the radar a serious chance to win. But Helen should still feel great about her triumph. And it turns out that she needed it - if she hadn't won immunity, she would have been below the yellow line with Ron and Mike, and between Pink and Brown in the elimination room, I don't think Pink would have had a hope in hell.

I am totally sick of Shannon's whiny phone voice. Who's with me?

And we are shown another glorious moment of Dannish achievement in the gym. Which would have been way more genuinely moving, might I say, WITHOUT THE SHMALTZY CRESCENDO OF BACKGROUND MUSIC, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Could this show drip any more with manufactured cheeze? As if the lame product placements were not enough? Sheesh.

And now we see the at-home contestants return nine days earlier than expected. I think everybody looked pretty much the same, except for Sione, who I thought looked visibly smaller (WTG), and possibly Aubrey. Can't wait to see the weigh-in of these guys at the beginning of next week!

Fantastic week for weight loss for almost everybody on the ranch. First of all, Mandi is totally looking way, WAY smaller, there's a definite difference there. I'm happy that Joelle had success and was so delighted in it - that's going to motivate her to keep going. Dan's weigh-in was bittersweet. Losing 60 pounds in four weeks is terrific, and getting below 400 is terrific, and losing 12 pounds in one week is also terrific...and yet! Still below the yellow line. Bummer.

And so, we go back to the house for the pleas from the teams on the chopping block. Ron opens up a huge freakin' can of vorklemptness, as is his wont. By contrast, Dave royally screws himself and Dan by telling everyone they can do it at home, sure, why not, whatever. Way to go, Dave, you ass. As if the fried chicken binges at home were not self-destructive enough. Tara's recrimination to him in the elimination room was PERFECT and made me love her even more. (She's a total game player, but she's got so much heart and drive, I can't bring myself to despise her.)

All in all, faced with the shittiest decision ever - even worse than the Jerry/Dan fiasco, probably - I think the house made the right choice overall. Ron still really, really needs to be at the ranch, and I think Mike does too. But Dan's seen the light and has the motivation.

Finally, it was great to see Dan having made such a huge difference. The sad thing is, even after dropping 101 pounds and over 22% of his bodyweight, he is STILL SUPER-OBESE. (BMI of 53.7 - anything 50 or more qualifies as super-obese, which is even WORSE than morbidly obese.) He has such a long way to go...but he's GETTING there, and that's the important thing. Go, Dan. Even Dave is making small changes. It might actually be okay for those two...or at least, for Dan.

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